Oh, the Places You’ll Paint!

This is the time of year when students are graduating and their relatives are giving them copies of Dr. Seuss’s classic book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go! The book has sold more than 12 million copies and has inspired many graduates with its advice and encouragement. But in the interests of practicality and realism for graduating students, I offer this companion poem to equip them with information they’ll need if they have any intention of living on a farm in the future …
Oh, the Places You’ll Paint!
Hey! You’re a grad, it’s a glorious feeling.
You’re now an adult and your mind is still reeling.
You can travel new places! Eat prawns, cake, or mush,
But mostly you’ll just need a paint can and brush.

Google “best gifts for grads” and you’ll get an assortment,
but most of them, really, are SO unimportant.
What you need is a ladder! Some drop cloths! (So quaint!)
Then the tape, trays, and rollers! Oh, the places you’ll paint!

You’ll notice one day that the front porch is peeling,
and so are the front steps and so is the ceiling.
“Someone should paint those,” you’ll remark, which is true.
‘Til it hits like a freight train—that someone is YOU!

And it’s not just the porch that needs scraping and painting;
the barn, sheds, and fencing need urgent updating.
You’ll drip paint on your pants, you’ll splash paint on your shoe;
and you’ll choose between seventy-nine shades of blue.

You’ll become so successful at painting and priming,
paint color matching and step-ladder climbing.
You’ll take pride in your farm, in your skills—no complaints.
Can you think of it now? Oh, the places you’ll paint!